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Landkit Redesign

We design & build products, apps, and sites for companies doing good things for the planet.

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Uncovering the mystery of going on first and second dates through dating apps

Relationship-seekers are taking advantage of dating apps’ accessibility, convenience, and novel features to explore initial compatibilities with potential matches without face-to-face interaction. But how do these people transition from online conversations to meeting in real life and building long-term relationships?

n this study, we aimed to uncover how a first and second date happen when using dating apps. Using a combination of a diary study and group interview, we uncovered a series of tactics participants adopted to take them to first dates: utilize heuristics to filter out undesirable matches, monitor the flow of the conversation, and vet social profiles. We also learned that to get to second dates, chemistry is the key and hinting at a second date while on the first date is recommended.

How does a first date happen using dating apps? What about a second date?

Methodology

Phenomenology

We chose phenomenology as the grounding methodology for this research. Social Phenomenology as explored by Alfred Schutz seeks to understand the impact of humanity’s subjective thoughts, inclinations and judgements towards a given system in society. By understanding our participants’ past experiences and their current interactions with dating apps, we hoped to explore how they navigate and make sense of the current dating scene. To unravel the phenomenon, we chose diary study and group interview as our research methods.

Our team leveraged our social networks to recruit participants who met the following criteria:

  • At least 18 years old

  • Have used or currently use at least one dating app on their mobile phone (required to be currently using for diary study/not required for group interview)

  • Have been on at least one date with a person met through a mobile dating app

Diary Study (7 Days)
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Group Interview
3
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Methods

7 Day Diary Study + 1:1 Interview

for the diary study, Used a messenger bot to ping participants. The diary study was followed by a short interview.Fun fact. One participant was about to uninstall dating apps if it were not for the diary study, she ended up finding a good match and is going on a date this week, thanks to our study

Group Interviews

Conducted a madlib activity asking the participant about their ideal date from their past or their imagination. All participants ended up with examples from their past.

Synthesis

We used Immersion and In vivo coding to find Thematic Relationships

Findings

The Process to Dates

Our participants had mixed preferences towards the available dating apps. One used Tinder because it “has the lowest barrier to entry” therefore the biggest selection while one preferred Bumble because “guys don't have to make the first move”. Others did not care which app to use as long as it provided a good experience. However, all participants described a series of similar events leading up to a first and second date through matching someone on the apps. These stages were swiping, getting matches, chatting, first date, more chatting, and finally second date as shown in Figure 1 below. We found the following emergent themes mapped to the various stages of the journey.

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Getting to a first date


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Utilize heuristics to filter out unwanted matches

Women tend to focus on red flags: “you can tell by pictures if they are douchey, they like themselves too much” -D1

Past unhappy experience make people associate certain traits in a profile remind them of their past, thereby swiping left.

“I swiped left on GoT, I stopped GoT season 5. That’s when I broke up with my ex. I also have emotional attachment to the show now”. -P5

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Keep the conversation flowing

“I’ve been making more effort to make my message more contextualized. I’ve gotten more people to ask for my number and met in person faster.” -P6

Someone’s gotta make the move!

While having a great conversation is important to learn more about each other, eventually someone’s gotta make the move to ask if the other person wants to go out and meet in real life.

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Timing is everything

“Seven days of messaging back and forth…Usually that’s around the time I feel like we’ve talked about enough things.” - P1

“Guys are a lot eager to meet in person ASAP than before.” - P1

Concerns over safety & being catfished

“I don’t want to get kidnapped and end up in a ditch.” - P1

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Getting to a second date


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When a second date won’t happen...

“If the date is bad, then I’ll DEFINITELY pay.” - P5

Hint at a second date during first date

“If we’re passionate about something in common like concert…I’ll say to her like hey so and so is coming to town. Are you interested? I’m not actually saying it’s a second date…just putting it out there.” - P3

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Chemistry is the key

“We get each other’s jokes.”- P5
“If I want to talk to him again and I feel comfortable with him.”- P6
“If there is no immediate chemistry, I’ll still give a chance of a second date because I feel like blind dates are very awkward.” -P1

Conclusion

Limitations and Discussion

Given we had less than 8 weeks to conduct the research, we designed our study based on how we could most effectively recruit participants, collect and analyze the data. As a result, this could reduce the transferability of our findings to a larger population. For the diary study, we had to limit it to a 7 day study. Even then, some of the participants weren’t able to participate everyday or fill out additional information beyond the prompts. A longer time frame would have allowed us to uncover additional insights and motivations. We also were only able to recruit friends who lived in urban environments—Seattle and LA. We believe having a more diverse sample could have provided richer data. And lastly, us being friends with the participants may or may not have affected how much information the participants were willing to share.

Read the full report